WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEANT TO YOU? 12/02/2108
What does success mean to you?
To me it means complete recognition that I am worthy, preferably from the top industry leaders in the country; ie; I am only deemed successful in my own eyes when the agency of my choice wants to sign me as an artist.
I am still waiting for this “success” to happen, it is the undercurrent to everything I do, everything I think and, ultimately, everything I feel about my career. So in other words, I am not a success, yet, and I berate myself for it everyday.
I feel that my goal of agency signing will be my big break but until then, it’s been a series of little breaks and big networking to have gotten myself to a point whereby some of my peers (people I went to high school with who are friends with me on Facebook) would consider me a success already. Which makes me wonder; am I already there?
Last year I was doing makeup for an old school mate’s wedding whom I hadn’t spoken to since we matriculated, a good decade ago, she said; “You really are living the dream, I am so happy for you!” And it caught me off guard. But then I started to think about it, I pay my rent every month with money that I make doing my dream job, don’t I? Yes, I do. So what more do I really need do to give myself a break about getting my big break? Do I need to be featured in international fashion magazines or be flown to London to head up Vivienne Westwood’s makeup team? Do I need to be the head makeup artist/ creative director for Chanel or Nars? Well, those all sound amazing and wonderful and yes, I want all of those things, but really, if I peel away all the lights and glamour and stars in my eyes and just look at the bare bones of it, I will be a success if I can make my rent this month doing what I love to do. And that makes me feel like the pressure of success that weighs on my chest is lifted a bit, I can breath easy again and remember that I am a makeup artist because doing makeup makes me happy, and that I get to do that as my soul income, means I am living the dream.